"I want to kiss you."
I turned and blinked in confusion as I turned to face the voice. Was he talking to me? Or was he on the phone?
"Robert? What are you doing here?"
He looked at me like he was about to cry or scream, I'm not too sure. He grabbed me by the shoulders and stared at me for almost a minute, not saying anything. It was quiet out in the forest trail that we were standing on. I felt this urge to start backing away. And I did. He moved one step closer.
"Didn't you hear me? What I just said?"
I didn't want to reply. I felt as if I did, that would be an affirmation to whatever he wanted. And it didn't sound too good.
"I said.. I want to kiss you."
"I heard you the first time... Rob, listen, you're really nice and all but I don't harbor that kind of feeling for you, you should focus more on your situation with your girlfriend--"
"You don't understand..." His fingers started to travel up my arm through my peacoat, he's boring into me with his suddenly-intimidating stare. I hate when people stare, I always have. It bothered me even moreso because there was nothing else to focus on-- no people, no animal, it was just us, the giant pine trees, and the snow falling.
It was so quiet and tense.
"It's over between her and me. I just don't love her anymore. Not after what she did to you. She was right, you know, I did really like having you tutor me, and I've always found you so cheery and so sunny and.. the opposite of her. And I just.. want to.."
He started to edge closer to me, and before I even can even say stop his hands were on my cheeks, he was leaning down.
He was going in for the kill.
I pushed him away and stared at him in utter shock; and I don't get shocked very easily, it was a really odd feeling for me. I was shocked because I thought things were going well between him and his girlfriend. I thought he only saw me as his tutor, and his friend.
This, this was kind of a drop-bomb.
"Look.. you're a nice guy and all, but... no. You know I'm in love with somebody, very, very much. I'll still be your friend, and I'll still tutor you, but that's it." I gestured towards the vast silence around us. "Even when we're totally alone. Sorry."
"But.. !" He seemed to suddenly have this desperate aura around him as he edged closer to me again, he started to wrap his arms around me, hugging me in this awkward hug that felt like he was trying to do something.I wriggled out of his arms, looked at him one more time, and walked away.
'That was WAY WAY WAY WAY awkward. I better write a live journal post about this.'
---
augh THAT WAS SO AWKWARD.