SCHOOL IS KILLING ME.

That is all.

Not much to say. Super typed. Barely feel like typing. Better post later?

Follow me, twitter, mangolyte.

Fragments.

.. Doing laundry. D: I just suck at it. I can't fold, I spill a crapload of detergent, I flail with the fabric softener ("BLLAARRGHHH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PURPLE CRAP" <-- me 10 minutes ago)  And then my roomate is all "Hang your bras to dry so they don't stretch out in the dryer" and I'm so confused  with this PURPLE POLKA DOTTED MADNESS.

.. Sigh. :>;

Right. Went to the gym, library, and cafeteria ( I'm still eating despite my absurdness this week) just as planned. Apparently I'm either going to see a friend in a play tonight OR go sake bombing (I'm not actually going to bomb though, just get some sushi). Hmm. I still need to rewrite some notes, study for a test, and do two papers that I wish can do themselves. Why aren't you guys asexual, EH?

<3; I'm feeling kinda.. ill, though.

With this new laptop I have to reinstall everything and GUESS WHO LEFT CS4 HOOOOOOME. And my USB cord for my camera. Nyyygh.

At least this agave lemonade is good.

UGH  I have so much to do. D:

I need my knight to come back to me soon.

A fresh keyboard is all tender and crispy, like a hero. Woah.

<3 short and sweet.

Test tomorrow (or today, rather) I still feel sick to my stomach but otherwise okay~! LOOK AT ME I'M CHEERFUL-- *shot*

Tomorrow is going to sliiiiightly suck. But today was good because I printed out this amazing picture of Pookie in a jacket and tacked it on my bulletin, despite the beard-ness. :> I want to see that hair, you~

OH, and that quiz I thought I bombed? 96. Huh. WHAAAAT.

Life is okay. =)

"I want to kiss you."

I turned and blinked in confusion as I turned to face the voice. Was he talking to me? Or was he on the phone?

"Robert? What are you doing here?"

He looked at me like he was about to cry or scream, I'm not too sure. He grabbed me by the shoulders and stared at me for almost a minute, not saying anything. It was quiet out in the forest trail that we were standing on. I felt this urge to start backing away. And I did. He moved one step closer.

"Didn't you hear me? What I just said?"

I didn't want to reply. I felt as if I did, that would be an affirmation to whatever he wanted. And it didn't sound too good.

"I said.. I want to kiss you."

"I heard you the first time... Rob, listen, you're really nice and all but I don't harbor that kind of feeling for you, you should focus more on your situation with your girlfriend--"

"You don't understand..." His fingers started to travel up my arm through my peacoat, he's boring into me with his suddenly-intimidating stare. I hate when people stare, I always have. It bothered me even moreso because there was nothing else to focus on-- no people, no animal, it was just us, the giant pine trees, and the snow falling.

It was so quiet and tense.

"It's over between her and me. I just don't love her anymore. Not after what she did to you. She was right, you know, I did really like having you tutor me, and I've always found you so cheery and so sunny and.. the opposite of her. And I just.. want to.."

He started to edge closer to me, and before I even can even say stop his hands were on my cheeks, he was leaning down.

He was going in for the kill.

I pushed him away and stared at him in utter shock; and I don't get shocked very easily, it was a really odd feeling for me. I was shocked because I thought things were going well between him and his girlfriend. I thought he only saw me as his tutor, and his friend.

This, this was kind of a drop-bomb.

"Look.. you're a nice guy and all, but... no. You know I'm in love with somebody, very, very much. I'll still be your friend, and I'll still tutor you, but that's it." I gestured towards the vast silence around us. "Even when we're totally alone. Sorry."

"But.. !" He seemed to suddenly have this desperate aura around him as he edged closer to me again, he started to wrap his arms around me, hugging me in this awkward hug that felt like he was trying to do something.I wriggled out of his arms, looked at him one more time, and walked away.

'That was WAY WAY WAY WAY awkward. I better write a live journal post about this.' 

---

augh THAT WAS SO AWKWARD.

Well, I like it, and everyone seems to really REALLY like it (like someonePoll #1339971
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

How you likin' the hair, girl?!

picture>> WOAH. (in case you didn't notice I dyed my hair back to its ultimately natural color: jet black. fyi.)

In others news, I think I bombed my genetics quiz. Yesss.

by the way, yes, the title of this entry is a Winehouse reference. IT'S A GOOD SONG OKAY
 

You're always there for me when times I just feel like crap. When I don't feel like talking to anyone, you are there to talk to me instead. I'm sorry I've been so "ehhhh" lately, just this cold and I just realized my blood pressure was dramatically low ( had to take medication, my diastotic pressure was like 40 apparently) and gah. But I feel a little better now. and tomorrow I'll do what you always tell me to do. my best.

Oh man. I need to sleep now. Up at 6, day ends basically at.. 9:30pm. whoo.

I love you so freaking much.

When people act like they are the ONLY ones in the world with problems.

When people coast over the fact that you are a human being and you have EXPERIENCED what they are going through, and maybe even more. That maybe they should worry about other things, because life is too short for drama like that and to get so wound up.

*breathe*

I mean, goodness. And people are all "UGHHHH SO MUCH WORK" you have an OPTION to do it. you have an option for everything. If you're whining that much, then quit. You're mentally quitting anyway, you're already half way there. So just chill out and listen. There are people out there that want to help. I wish I had someone who helped me like that. So be thankful for what you have.

And mnnngh you know what else makes me a little "ffff" when someone CASTS over your work like it is nothing. I mean okay, I understand you have a lot of work but I do too. EVERYONE HAS WORK. stop whining so much and do it. Toughen up a bit.

Fff.

:< Jeez.

And if you're reading this you-know-who, no, I'm not talking about you. If you are other-you-know-who, then yes, this is about you. :>

Damn you responsibility.

:<

In the library, hell yes. I mean, it's obviously where all the cool people are. I've been here since 2:30 since class got out early.
 

OH, and I'm going to be soaked in meetings and work and junk tomorrow, so I probably can't even leave campus, let alone NY. ._. Sorry~  Break a leg and make all good gifts, etc. <3 Angela. I'm sure you'll be amazing as usual.

Huhhhh this week was kinda crazy, but I have a spiffy new planner that is NOT bobcat-oriented for once in my life. WOAH. I was supposed to go to the ice hockey game tonight but tickets were sold out as well. @@ Hmmm. I've been asked to audition for Apollo again, I'm not too sure if I should, last year it was kinda embarrassing, ALL of the winners were GIANT DANCE TEAMS. So 1 singer vs. 40 GUYS. Hm. Not going to happen. Well, at least I didn't get booed off stage like.. practically every other singer. <3;; 

I'm requesting blue and yellow snuggies for SGA, SPB, and anyone working in the cold-as-Edward Cullen student center. Good idea y/y?  Speaking of ice and marble, do you like how pretty much my WHOLE room except Kim and I totally enjoyed the Twilight Movie? And Britt, she has these Twilight pants that has patches that says "Twilight" that she got at Hot Topic and various quotes from the books. You heard me. Twilight pants. It made me chuckle too. :> 

Did I mention there is practically no one in the library? Yeaaaah. Kinda creepy. Such is my life.

Well, I had more to say than I thought.

Connecticut, woah

You are really snowy, dude

FFFFFF, it's really cold.

:> sankyu.

And I'm going to do something I never have before.

I think it's from peer pressure. Or something.

I'm not sure that if after I try it once, I'll be able to stop.

I mean.. it LOOKS good, so it should be good.. right? You know how they say when you're in a relationship, sometimes your boyfriend or girlfriend will kinda push you into doing something that you've never tried before? Well, after years of gentle nudging, he finally convinced me. 

If I grow to like it, Marc, it's all your fault. :>

Yes, yes.  I'm going to give in and get an ELECTRIC TEA KETTLE. *shot dead* YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW WHAT A STEP FORWARD IN LIFE THIS IS FOR ME. I've always used a good old fashioned stove top kettle, and Marc is all "D: Lame, get an electric kettle it's faster!" and for years I've been all "Nooooo I lurve my green kettle" but NOW I want one for the dorm since I've been extra-attached to tea for the past few weeks. I'll buy one either on ebay, amazon, or just go to Bed bath and Beyond. :>  

If any of you thought something else, shame on you. <3

(By the way, it was confirmed. My balance was $170, holy crap. )

I feel like I'm betraying my tea kettle.

No. No. No.

this is not happening.

Miracles do not fucking happen to me. I don't deserve them.

There has to be some kind of error in my tuition balance.

My balance ended up to be about $5k . Okay. My mom was ready to pay. I receive an email saying my financial award has been updated, I received a grant. Random. Okay. I assumed it was going to be like $500.

We called Bursar's to see the new balance.

And I nearly cried.

$170.

$170.

One hundred and seventy FUCKING dollars. Nonono, this has to be an error.  That's less than a textbook.

How..

How much is that grant and what did I do to deserve this?

..

There has to be an error.

UGH NO THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. No no no no no.

Not believing this until I see it on paper. and even then.
 

Things do not go my way.. there has to be some kind of mistake.

What the fuck. No.
 

.. I gotta go to the dentist now.

woah.

So I had this really crazy dream last night that I (somehow) became an amazing/famous voice actor. Like.. it  was crazy. And the funny part is I didn't really change my voice all that much to match the character. XD  Wtf.

I became so popular and I went to a con like every weekend. I was attacked by fanboys and fangirls, and I was even nice enough to say some things my character would not normally say.  And you know, everybody screams/foams at the mouth. It was insane.

But I didn't look like I was enjoying myself. <3; Then I woke up.

Hunh.

I don't think I really would.. :>

Anyway, I found $200 outside.

=D

For telling me of his future proposal plans? XD I was kinda blanking out.  Thanks for letting me be the target (am I just an easy target? )of  your pranks, here's hoping it'll be the same for 2009.<333

What I got for Christmas? I'll tell you next year. <3

New Years Resolutions? I have some.

Excel in school, be healthy, be happy, and take voice or violin lessons. <3;

And grow some new plants.

Happy New Years everyone! =D

=< I don't wanna.

I DO want a henna pen though in a bad way. Hooooo. <3

I don't even have anything important to say right now, except that the Christmas tree is blocking my view of the window.  And I'm really cold.

And the Planet Earth DVD Boxset is amazing.

BLAHAHAHA oops I forgot to use el jay. 8D

I hope everyone had an awesome holiday. <3 I'll have to make a list of what I got.. once the presents end. I'm still getting. o__o I think everyone just felt sorry for me this semester because I lacked in a social life because of school.

And yes, I'll be back full time at QU, Ren. <3 I got Ouran, we need to watch eet.

This is a delayed thanks for everyone who has cared about me, and will care about me. Annnd do care about me.

Because I care about you too. =)

Thank you so  much.

I'm still here. ♥